i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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