last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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