bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
