They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
