This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
