I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
