So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
BRING THE BAGELS
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
