Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
