Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
