there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
