So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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