I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
