When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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