If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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