My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
