do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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