fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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