omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
