I'll bet she douches with gravy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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