We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
