glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
