This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
