That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Say something about gay babies.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
