I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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