it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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