Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
