If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
