I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
