In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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