Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
