is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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