Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
