I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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