Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize