But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
