dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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