i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
