Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
