He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
MIDGETS
????
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
