her vagine was all disorganized.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
