I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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