i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
