I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
