If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
honey bunches of taint.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..