is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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