Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
