Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
