a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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