Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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