oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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