There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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