STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
