I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
