the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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