He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
