I only kidnapped one of them. chill
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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