My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
