he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
do nipples grow back?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
