My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.