Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

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(601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou

Replies (60) Good night (3602) Bad night (747)
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(979): View more from Texas

Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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(979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem

Replies (26) Good night (961) Bad night (3867)
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(614): View more from Ohio

i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid

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(614): i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid http://tfl.nu/y6qj

Replies (44) Good night (4648) Bad night (799)
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(334): View more from Alabama

The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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(334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards. http://tfl.nu/c6zk

Replies (15) Good night (12839) Bad night (841)
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(916): View more from California

He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants

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(916): He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants http://tfl.nu/xfxv

Replies (46) Good night (13529) Bad night (2254)
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(682): View more from Texas

While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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(682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im

Replies (12) Good night (1192) Bad night (4174)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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(208): Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain? http://tfl.nu/hz7f

Replies (17) Good night (935) Bad night (3714)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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(614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf

Replies (19) Good night (5312) Bad night (1232)
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(+61): View more from Australia

It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.

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(+61): It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix. http://tfl.nu/uj3b

Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (1431)
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(562): View more from California

don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.

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(562): don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you. http://tfl.nu/zbku

Replies (3) Good night (2556) Bad night (680)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

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(928): I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on. http://tfl.nu/43cf

Replies (5) Good night (1456) Bad night (615)
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(+61): View more from Australia

This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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(+61): This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business http://tfl.nu/efay

Replies (2) Good night (979) Bad night (590)
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(254): View more from Texas

He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him

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(254): He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him http://tfl.nu/fs9i

Replies (9) Good night (1313) Bad night (808)
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(512): View more from Texas

Where'd you go last night?

(512): View more from Texas

Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.

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(512): Where'd you go last night? (512): Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex. http://tfl.nu/hvgs

Replies (3) Good night (1038) Bad night (401)
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(302): View more from Delaware

You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."

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(302): You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter." http://tfl.nu/rvq9

Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (225)

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