i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
