Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Could a canary swim?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Last time I ever let you pet sit.

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  (651): Could a canary swim? (952): Last time I ever let you pet sit. http://tfl.nu/tcs0
  Replies (10) Good night (819) Bad night (3321)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou

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  (978): he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou http://tfl.nu/bfpm
  Replies (25) Good night (4762) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  my professor just said "the power of the situation"

  (216): View more from Ohio

  drink

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  (574): my professor just said "the power of the situation" (216): drink http://tfl.nu/g82n
  Replies (17) Good night (5345) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

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  (801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm
  Replies (10) Good night (2752) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

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  (585): i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair? http://tfl.nu/daid
  Replies (32) Good night (10985) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy

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  (307): We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy http://tfl.nu/folr
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (2773)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want

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  (570): Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want http://tfl.nu/5ndp
  Replies (5) Good night (2431) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

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  (931): Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring http://tfl.nu/mtnj
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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  (864): Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being. http://tfl.nu/1bas
  Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

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  (760): You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker http://tfl.nu/zuvx
  Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...

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  (503): Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat... http://tfl.nu/b2lc
  Replies (2) Good night (551) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...

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  (256): Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/w83s
  Replies (0) Good night (912) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.

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  (919): We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad. http://tfl.nu/qk8s
  Replies (6) Good night (1930) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Booty calls should never involve the cops.

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  (936): Booty calls should never involve the cops. http://tfl.nu/8hes
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Remember when I said I had my shit together?

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  (203): I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room..... (203): Remember when I said I had my shit together? http://tfl.nu/xvhs
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (656)

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