dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
