Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
