come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My Sexting was not on an AP level