Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
