Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
