So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Randomize
