Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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