Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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