i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
