to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
