At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
