If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
