nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
