theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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