Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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